This article was originally written and distributed in booklet form in February 1994, and subsequently appeared as the first chapter of three on the subject of Depression published in Harry’s book, “When the Road is Rough and Steep”.

Although the book “When the Road is Rough and Steep” is still in print and available I am reproducing the article here to make it available for anyone to read who accesses our website, with the prayer that it will continue to be a blessing to many in these days.  

June Kilbride, May 2025

 

“I’ve had enough, Lord”

 

HAVE YOU EVER been so low in spirits that you have wished to die? Have you ever been so despondent, so despairing, so weary, so frustrated, that you have cried out to God, “I’ve had enough, I just can’t go on. I’m at the end of my rope?” Maybe not; but do you know someone who has? I do – Elijah for one.

He (Elijah) came to a broom tree and he sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my fathers.”
(1 Kings 19:4)

DEPRESSION is a very important and relevant subject, especially for those who are depressed! A few people are (appar­ently) never depressed. Most people are depressed occasionally; many people are depressed frequent­ly; some people are depressed continually; and some people are SO depressed that it has been diagnosed as a clinical condition.

ELIJAH was one of the greatest prophets who ever lived; a man of amazing courage and faith; a man of earnest and effective prayer; and yet, in the story we are about to consider, we shall find him in (almost) suicidal depression.  We will need three articles to do justice to this classic passage and its subject.

This will not be a psychological treatise on depression. I am not a professional psychologist. This will be a study of Elijah’s depression but also, and more importantly, how God reached down to help him, lift him out of his despondency, meet with him in a memorable encounter, and send him on his way re­freshed and renewed for further service.

Elijah, we are told in James 5:17, was “a man like us.” In I Kings 18 we see him on the mountain top – literally, emotionally, and spiritually – now in I Kings 19 we see him in the valley. Life is often mountains and valleys. For those unfamiliar with the story of Elijah you can read it in 1 Kings, chapters 17 to 19.

In this first study, looking at I Kings 19:1-4, 9-10, we will invest­igate the probable causes for his depres­sion. Subsequent articles will focus on the kindness and deliver­ance of God under the titles: The Touch of the Angel, verses 5-8. and A Fresh Encounter with God verses 9-18.

It is my hope that God will help us to know ourselves, to learn what are the causes of this condition; the answers to it; and to be better able to understand and help others.

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with a sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me be it ever so severely if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

Elijah was afraid and he ran for his life. And when he came to Beersheba in Judah he left his ser­vant there while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert.

He came to a broom tree and he sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my fathers.” Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.

DEPRESSION – A HUMAN CONDITION

I need hardly tell you this depression of Elijah is not an isolated case in the Bible. The Bible does not whitewash its heroes.  Other great men of faith, other spiritual giants, had similar experiences.  It appears to be a characteristic of our human condition.

Let us consider some examples from the “greats” – first in Scripture, then in history.

Job – is described in Job 1:1 as “blame­less and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.” We talk about “the patience of Job,” and rightly admire his amazing faith expressed in Job 1:20-22. We do not hear so often about his depres­sion and yet it is the book’s dominant theme until near the end. In Job 3:1 we read, “After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth.” That is depressed!

Read the whole third chapter for a glimpse at this dear man’s emotional pain.  What about chapter 6:2-3, “If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery placed on the scales. It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas…” Perhaps if you and I had suffered what he suffered we would have felt the same.

David   – is described, in 1 Sam 13:14, as “a man after God’s own heart.” David was the brave slayer of Goliath and the greatest king Israel ever had. The Messiah would be of the line of David and would sit on the throne of David for ever. King David was also the sweet Psalmist of Israel. He was inspired to write Psalm 23 and so many other wonderful Psalms that we read or sing. But if I wanted to turn to a second classic passage on depression other than this story of Elijah, I think I would choose Psalm 42 because there David expresses his feelings so vividly and his faith so movingly. Listen to him in this Psalm:

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remem­ber as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the proces­sion to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so dis­turbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.
My soul is downcast within me… Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me… I say to God, my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me?  Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”

Have you ever known that experience, where it seems as if one wave of trouble follows hard upon another and “sorrows like sea billows roll?” That is what David experienced. But he talks to himself (no, not a crazy thing to do), trying to get himself out of this pit of sorrow and expressing his unshakeable faith in God.

Jeremiah – another great prophet. One of the greatest.  Listen to Jeremiah in the 20th chapter of the Book of Jeremiah, from verse 13, “Sing to the Lord. Give praise to the Lord. He rescues the life of the needy from the hand of the wicked.”  That sounds like a good start.

But the next verse tells us what he was really feeling. “Cursed be the day I was born.” Oh dear. Here we go again. What a sudden change. He has been trying to pull himself up by his bootlaces. He has been urging himself to “sing to the Lord” but he cannot do it. He admits, “Who am I trying to kid?  I do not feel like singing to the Lord. It is a farce.” So, he gives vent to his real feelings, “Cursed be the day I was born.”

Then he continues, “May the day my mother bore me not be blessed.” In other words, “Don’t you dare send me a card saying ‘Happy Birthday.’ It was a cursed day! If you send me a card on my birthday let it have a black band all round it. Get it from the “In Sympathy” section. I wish I had never been born!”

The passage continues, “Cursed be the man that brought my father the news, who made him glad saying, ‘A child is born to you.'” I always feel very sorry for this poor chap. All he did was bring Jeremiah’s dad the news. He is getting cursed as well.  “May that man be like the towns the Lord overthrew without pity…” He is really on a roll now “…may he hear wailing in the morning and a battle cry at noon.  He did not kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave and her womb enlarged for ever. Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?”  And you think you get depressed!!

Paul – In 2 Corinthians 4, the Apostle Paul explains that things have not always been easy, and he puts it like this, verse 8,

“For we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; per­plexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our bodies the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal bodies. So then death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”

From this we learn that the great Apostle was not on “cloud nine” or up in the Third Heaven all the time. In fact, the letters of Paul reveal that he felt it keenly when he was hurt. My, how it wounded him when he was falsely accused, when he was let down, when he was desert­ed, when he was lonely, and when he was seemingly unfruitful.

Now none of these biblical heroes remained in this downcast condition. God delivered them all. David was right when he said “I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” He did. Neverthe­less I am reminding you that at times even the greatest of God’s servants passed through the dark valley of depression. If you and I do so, let us take heart, we are in the succession of prophets and apos­tles. We are not alone.

Heroes of History

Do you have heroes from history? Men and women that you have read about and admired and even longed to emulate? I do. My top ones, as you would guess, are all preachers. I have discovered that most of them were also afflicted with bouts of depression.

For example: Martin Luther was given to depression. So was John Calvin and George Whitefield. One of my heroes is Charles Haddon Spurgeon. This great Baptist pastor preached to a congregation of 5,000 twice every Sunday in 19th century London. His sermons sold 25,000 copies each week and were translated into twenty languages. Yet this eloquent and successful servant of God knew terrible bouts of depression. Writing of it once he declared, “My spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for. Causeless depression cannot be reasoned with…as well fight with the mist as with this shapeless, undefinable, yet all-beclouding hopelessness.”

Spurgeon said this affliction could be banished only by “a heavenly hand”.

I have had the privilege of personally speaking with a few of the great Christian leaders of more modern times and they have known dark times also. Maybe some of you would be shocked if you knew who, but others of you would be, like me, greatly comforted because you would realize what good company you are in.

But let me mention one more:

The Lord Jesus Christ
We come now with holy tread and eavesdrop as our Lord bares his heart in the Garden of Gethsema­ne. Matthew 26:36,

“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.”

It does not say he took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him and they all held hands and began to have a praise party. It does not say he began to smile and to laugh and to say to Peter and John, “Praise God! Hallelujah!  Let’s sing some songs.”  It tells us…“he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  And he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me…'”  The NIV translates it, “He began to be deeply distressed and troubled.”

It seems to me then from both Scripture and experience that depression is for many, if not for all, part of the human condition. It Is Not Necessarily Sinful. Our Lord Jesus shared our humanity in all its fullness – save sin. He never committed a sin yet he was the “man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3).

Of course, Satan loves to pile on the guilt, so if you or I are depressed, Satan will surely take advantage of that and say, “You awful, wicked sinner. Call yourself a Christian? You ought not to be like this.”

Poor Spurgeon regarded his despondency as his worst feature. He said, “…it is a vice. I am heartily ashamed of myself for falling into it, but I am sure there is no remedy for it like a holy faith in God.”

Perhaps that was why Jeremiah was trying to pick himself up. It is bad enough feeling depressed when we have so much to be thankful for without the Accuser, Satan, piling on the guilt as well.

So, before we zoom in closely on Elijah’s story let us first consider in a more general way some of the possible causes for depression and then see if we recognize them in God’s servant.

Some General Causes of Depression

• Depression may be temperamental. Some are more prone to it than others. It is somehow part of their inherited genetic make-up. Some are born with a sunny disposition whilst others are more inclined to be melancholy. This is not a matter of praise or blame: it is a fact.

I saw a video program recently about hymn-writers, and one of those dealt with was William Cowper.  He was a highly-acclaimed eighteenth-century English poet whom God used to write such well-known hymns as, “God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform;” and, “There is a fountain filled with blood,” and many more.

William Cowper had suffered in his younger years with terrible depression, and even had to be admitted to an asylum for some years. Having told us this the commentator then asserted that after Cowper found Jesus Christ as his Savior he was cured of his depression. But he wasn’t! He still sometimes fell into terrible depressions and had to spend time in hospital again. Yes: even as a Christian.

• Depression may be chemical. Many mothers know about post-natal depression, and that kind of thing. Our bodies are incredibly complex and physical changes in the body can bring about very marked and mysterious mood swings. If you suspect this is true of you, I urge you to see your physician and have a check-up.
• Depression may be circumstantial. The things happening to us are so unpleasant that we cannot avoid becoming despondent. Unemployment, prolonged illness, painful grief, would be exam­ples. It seems to me our emotional consciousness can be like those places in the ocean where there are contrary currents. Deep down the flow is in one direction whereas nearer the surface the flow is completely the opposite. Similarly, we may be downcast near the surface because of unpleasant circumstances yet deep down we never lose those things which make up our joy in the Lord (faith, gratitude, love, peace and so on). It is a paradox.
• Depression may be spiritual. In this case we may even lose the joy of the Lord which once we knew. The same William Cowper wrote,

Where is the blessedness I knew
When first I saw the Lord?
Where is the soul refreshing
View of Jesus and His Word?

What peaceful hours I once enjoyed,
How sweet their memory still;
But they have left an aching void
The world can never fill.

There can be times when we feel so spiritually barren that prayer is very hard, worship no longer seems to warm our cold hearts and we may even doubt our salvation. Of course, some would immediately conclude that a person going through such an experience must be in a backslidden state. The church will always have to endure those who rush to such superficial judgments. Job had to suffer his friends doing the same thing.

I am convinced God sometimes allows the more precious of his saints to pass through such times of spiritual dryness and depression to draw them closer to himself and bring them to greater blessing.

Elijah will find that. Cowper’s searching hymn begins: “O for a closer walk with God.”  As does David’s – Psalm 42:1

• Depression may be diabolical. We sometimes forget that in the spiritual realm into which we have been brought by our new birth and faith in Christ, a battle rages. The Enemy of souls assaults us and I am convinced that depression is one of the weapons in his arsenal, or, at least, things that make for depres­sion. Do you ever sense a great oppression – a heaviness – for which there seems to be no explanation? Could it not be an attack of the devil? I think so. Then the Enemy follows that with (false) guilt like a one-two punch or a two-pronged attack.
• Depression can be sinful, as we shall see; or there can be sinful elements in it. Perhaps, with many of us, it all too often is so. Unconfessed sin, willful disobedience, hurt pride, lack of trust in God, ingratitude, self-pity, bearing grudges and many other sources of depression are of course sinful.
• Finally, depression can be holy. What?! Yes. It depends upon the source of it and the reason for it. I would go so far as to say that there can be times when it is actually sinful NOT to be sad and troubled and heavy of heart. Faced with sin and sorrow, cruelty and crime, disease and death, how can a Christian believer feel otherwise? Why else was Jesus the “Man of Sorrows” and why else did he urge that the way of true blessedness is found by those “who mourn?” (Matthew 5:4)

What did the Lord Jesus feel when he stood beside the grave of his friend Lazarus and shared the sorrow of the family? I will tell you: Jesus wept (John 11:35). What did he feel as he contemplated the rejection of Jerusalem and foresaw the awful suffering which was to fall upon that city? I will tell you: Jesus wept (Luke 19:41-44).

Our world, our society and even our churches are in such a mess that I think it possible we Christians do not mourn enough! The problem is that when we do feel sad it is usually for the wrong (selfish) reasons.

Incidentally, I know of nowhere in the Bible that tells us that the chief end of man is to be happy.  Our goal should be to be HOLY; and if we are holy there will be things over which we grieve – especially our own unworthi­ness.

And is it not a holy thing to long for Heaven and for the Coming of our Lord Jesus when he will wipe every tear from our eyes and establish a Kingdom of peace, purity, righteousness, and love, for ever and ever? The Apostle Paul says we groan as we wait (Rom 8:18-25). We should! You may not hear much about that nowa­days. Such teaching is unfashion­able.

Now it seems to me there were elements of most of these in Elijah’s depression. After all he was “a man like us”. I think we will see that as we now look more closely at this sad but instructive incident in Elijah’s experience.

A CLOSER LOOK AT ELIJAH’S DEPRES­SION

In this examination we may find not only help for ourselves but also more understanding of others.

I want to give you twelve words.

a) REACTION
Mount Carmel had been a high point in Elijah’s life and ministry. A high point of emotional and spiritual excitement. It is all there in chapter 18 – a mountaintop experi­ence.

There not only Elijah but the king and all Israel, witnessed a mighty demonstration of God’s power. Fire from heaven fell upon his sacrifice. Elijah’s prayers were wonderfully answered, the prophets of Baal were proved impotent, and Elijah’s ministry vindicated. After the consuming fire came the refreshing rain. Elijah instructed his servant, “Go and tell Ahab, ‘Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.’ Meanwhile the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain came on and Ahab rode off to Jezreel.” That was the royal summer palace. It was eighteen miles away.

“The power of the Lord came upon Elijah and tucking his cloak into his belt he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.” That was some run. Eighteen miles. Though we do not know how old Elijah was when all this happened, it seems certain he was not a young man. Yet he was so excited, he ran eighteen miles faster than a chariot. He probably should have gone into the Guinness Book of Records!

But then what happened? Nothing. It was all over. Everyone went home. No change. From climax to anticlimax. From high to low. Reaction. Often life is like that, you know, after excitement. Don’t you get the blues sometimes after a wonderful vacation when it’s back to work. Or what about weddings? All the excitement and build up, a wonderful day, then the honeymoon. But then what?  Back to work, back to cooking and cleaning and adjusting and trying to pay the bills. A weary grandmother said to a young bride, ” Well, dear, it starts when you sink into his arms but it ends with your arms in the sink!”

I think there is an element of reaction in a church some­times, after a wonderful evangelistic outreach has concluded, or a Christmas or Easter special event. There were all the weeks or even months of planning and preparing; special classes, prayer groups, exciting music with augmented singers and musicians. A frenzy of intense activity as the event draws near. Then the evangelist comes, many people respond and it seems like Heaven. And then it is all over and sometimes there is reaction. There is a bit of a downer as the church tries to resume its normal steady routines and programs. After the fever comes a chill. I don’t mean we should not have special times – especially evangelistic outreach – but rather we should be prepared for the aftermath.

b) DISAPPOINTMENT
Suppose our wonderful and exciting ‘special effort’ did not produce real and lasting change.  Suppose after all the faithful follow up work has been done the number of true conversions proves to be only a small fraction of those we claimed in the heady days of the event. Then the feeling of let-down and despondency is all the worse. So it was with Elijah. He had been sure: if only he could have a great “event” and demonstrate to Israel, once and for all, the impotence of Baal and the power of Jehovah, they would forsake their idols and return to their Covenant God.

And so it seemed at first. “The LORD, He is God” all Israel had cried as the fire fell. But it didn’t last.  There was no revival. There was no change. His dreams did not come true. His hopes were dashed.  Ahab is still concerned with his horses, and expanding his property. He is not concerned with religion at all, except false religion to please his wife, Jezebel. She is still there, and her temple to Baal that had been built in Samaria. Business as usual – Baal-business.

You see, miracles, like the miracle on Carmel, are soon forgotten unless there is a miracle in the heart. But what a disappoint­ment for Elijah.

We too can be depressed through disappointment. Maybe there is someone reading this article right now, and you are prompted to read this message because your dreams have not come true.  Your expectations have been unfulfilled. Your hopes have been dashed.

It may be to do with your job; it promised a lot but has given little. Or your marriage; whatever happened to the romance? Disappointment in a political program or politician. Or, maybe, more importantly, in becoming a Christian. Someone led you to believe you could have Heaven now; and sometimes it seems more like Hell. We live, you know, in a vale of tears. We long for Heaven but we are not there yet. Here there is sickness and failure, mysteries we cannot understand; sin and sorrow; depres­sion and disappointment.

c) DISILLUSIONMENT
This is similar to disappointment and often follows from it. Elijah says, “I have had enough Lord…”  Enough of what? Well for one thing, enough of Israel. They had let him down. Their professions of faith were false and the covenant Elijah so passionately believed in was in ruins.

He has had enough of his ministry. Israel was not worth bothering with anymore. Do you ever feel like that? Has some-one let you down? Maybe a friend, maybe a pastor or church leader? Maybe you are disillusioned with the church. What a bunch of phony, ungrateful hypocrites! Is that how you feel? I have certainly known a few congregations who have become disillusioned with their pastors but I have also known a few disillusioned pastors and preachers. Just like Elijah.

d) FEAR
We read, “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life.” Elijah had been a byword in courage. Yet here he is running for his life from Jezebel. Can you just imagine what happened when Ahab got home. It says in chapter 19, verse 1, “Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done…” When King Ahab told his Queen about the contest on Carmel, the impotence and humiliation of the prophets of Baal, Elijah’s taunting of them and, especially, the summary execution of all four hundred and fifty, I guess Jezebel just went ballistic.

“So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, ‘May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like one of them.”

In other words: “Put ‘Wanted’ notices on every tree, in every market place, in every restaurant. Issue his descrip­tion to every soldier. I want him dead or alive.”

And Elijah was afraid, and ran for his life. Fear. My books tell me that anxiety or fear is a major cause of depression.

Fear of the past.  Skeletons in the cupboard that somebody one day will expose. We seem to live in a society today that is obsessed with trying to dig up dirt. I wonder that anyone ever runs for office.
Fear of the present. Some of us have no idea what terrible fears some people live with every day.  What will today bring? Will their worst fear happen today?
Fear of the future.  What will become of me? Only God knows. Yes, he does and he also knows about the problem of anxiety. That is why over three hundred and fifty times God in his Word says, “Fear not…” and the reasons why. It is not just a cliché.

e) EXHAUSTION
Both physical and emotional, don’t you think? Eighteen miles to Jezreel; yes, but then ninety miles more. You see, when Elijah realized there was going to be no revival but rather Jezebel was determined to have his head, he took off, running for his life, heading south. He traveled over ninety miles. Up and down rough and stony hills he went. On and on until he hit the desert, with every painful mile getting hotter and hotter.

Beersheba was, and is, the last outpost, and he staggered on even from there. He must have been absolutely exhausted when he eventually collapsed under a little tree. He could go no further. “I have had enough, Lord. I have had enough of Israel. I have had enough of this journey. I can’t go on any­more…in fact, I have had enough of living!”

Another major cause of depression is over-strain, overtiredn­ess and exhaustion. Don’t we know it?  And how many of you have ever said, “I have had enough, Lord.”

“…enough of this job. I have had enough of this nonsense from this boss. I have been humiliated yet again.”

“…enough of these children. I just can’t take it anymore.”

“…enough of these elderly parents, trying to take care of them, trying to look after them. Nobody knows what it is like. I love them but I can’t do it anymore.”

“…enough of these responsibilities, but I don’t know how to get out from under them. I am between a rock and a hard place. Lord, take my life, because I can’t go on.”

How many exhausted preachers have said like Elijah, “Lord I have had enough of this ministry.”  Don’t condemn them. You will not if you have ever been there. You see, we try to do too much because some of us cannot say “No.” Sometimes too much is piled upon us by others. We become stressed-out and absolutely emotionally and physically exhausted. And then we are depressed. Is it any wonder?

f) FAILURE
Elijah felt he was a failure. Did he not say, “Take my life for I am no better than my fathers.” What does he mean? Does he mean, no more successful than previous prophets? Ahab was the seventh king. It had been a sad story of apostasy all the way through. Idolatry; infidelity. Other prophets, perhaps, had lived, and preached and died, and seen no change. Things only grew worse. Now the Lord’s prophets were being executed for their faith.

But Elijah had expected to be more successful. He really did believe that he was going to see a change, a “U-turn” in the spiritual climate of the nation. There was going to be an end to Baal worship and a re-dedication of the nation to God. But it did not happen and poor Elijah was plunged into depression. He blamed himself. He was a failure.

Why should he have expected to be better?  Sometimes the depression is our own fault because of our own self-imposed expectations.  Then we blame ourselves when we don’t achieve them.

During my formative Christian years I had a wonderful pastor. I was preparing for the ministry and he spent time with me and taught me theology, patiently answering my endless (and probably sometimes very tiresome) questions. I loved him. Sadly, he became so depressed with a sense of unworthiness and failure that he would go and sit in the rubbish bin outside in the yard, and put the lid on his head. His wife would call me and she would say, “He has put himself in the dustbin again.” And I would cry.

“No better than my fathers.” Why should Elijah have expected to be better? Was it pride we see here in Elijah? After all he was “a man like us” and sometimes we want to outshine others to feed our vanity. Some pastors, and their churches, want to fill their pews or break baptism records or build that spectacular new facility, not for God’s glory, but their own!  Ambition can be good but it can be an idol. The craving for “success” can be legitimate but it can be a slave-driving master. It is not then the Lord Jesus who controls us but the compulsion to out-score, out-shine, out-build, out-earn, out-drive everyone we know. That is sin. Many on that treadmill are doomed to depression because there is always more and, anyway, the motive is wrong.

Now, sometimes others expect us to be better. Better than our parents. Better than our brother or our sister. “Why can’t you be like your brother?” they say, “Your brother got straight “A”s. Why can’t you? Why can’t you be like your sister?” Someone was telling me recently, she had always been in the shadow of a twin.

Can you believe, when I used to teach High School, I had some parents who grumbled at their child if he/she came second out of about forty students. “Why weren’t you first?” That was all they could say. Some people spend the whole of their lives trying to prove themselves or trying to please a hyper-critical father or match a high-achiever in the family. It is a recipe for a lifetime of depres­sion.

If we belong to Christ we should give him our best but leave the results with him. As Samuel Rutherford said, “Duties are ours, events are the Lord’s”  Never is that more true than with genuine Heaven-sent revival. It was for God to grant or with-hold. If it did not come why did Elijah blame himself?

g) GUILT – “No better than my fathers”
Does Elijah feel guilty for running away? Or for being afraid? Or for some other reason? Feelings of guilt certainly lead to depression. If we ARE guilty then let us come to the Cross and let the blood of Jesus wash us clean. Let us forsake our sin and with God’s help live a renewed life. We need be depressed by guilt not one moment longer than it takes to turn back to a gracious God. Satan, however, is very fond of loading us with false guilt as we have mentioned.

h) LONELINESS – “He left his servant there…”
He only had one person with him and he left him in Beersheba. He went on alone. So often when we are depressed or over­wrought, or disappointed we cut off our friends. We say, “Oh, you don’t want to be with me. I am not fit to be with. Leave me alone.” But in some senses that is the worst thing. “It is not good,” said God in Paradise, “for the man to be alone.”

That is why the apostle Paul liked to have a team, and needed those who would stand by him. If you read the Second Letter to Timothy you will read the poignant words about those who deserted him. In the hour of his trial no one stood by him, but the Lord stood by him. Do you remember how the Lord Jesus Christ admonished his sleepy disciples, “Could you not watch with me…?”

Loneliness can be very depressing. We must not leave our friends behind and cut ourselves off.  Sometimes, however, it is not our fault. O how depressed some of us have been because we long for a friend.

God was planning to give Elijah a friend.
i) GRUDGE
We need to take a sneak preview into verses 9 and 10 for this:

The word of the Lord came to him, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’  He replied, ‘I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left and now they are trying to kill me too.

Don’t you think he is saying, “I deserve better? That is what I am doing here. I deserve better, because of all the good things that I have done. I mean, look, Lord, I have been very zealous for you.  And the Israelites, they have rejected you but I have stood firm. I have been faithful. I have preached the Gospel, and what thanks have I got for it? I deserve better than this. I haven’t been treated right.”

Do you know that this is the summing up of those who have studied these things clinically.  Holding… take note, …holding grudges is the main cause of depression.

What sort of grudges?

“My job, doesn’t pay enough, I deserve better…”

“I was passed over for promotion, and somebody else got the position which was rightfully mine…”

“My family does not respect me, my spouse does not love me, my boss does not appreciate me, no-one does. I deserve better…”

“My children have grown up but they do not call and they do not care…”

“I have been a faithful wife and a dedicated parent and this is the thanks I get. Dumped like a piece of old gar­bage… I deserve better…”

“I am young and confused but my parents don’t understand me. They do not care. I have done my best but all they do is criticize me. Life is unfair. I deserve better…”

“I have worn myself out for my church but I am unappreci­ated. I think I will quit. Let someone else do it.”

Do you think that Elijah’s complaint is really against God? Is he saying, “I know that Israel is like this, and Jezebel is like that, but Lord you could have changed that. O Lord, you ask me what I am doing here; I have come with a complaint against you. You could have wiped Jezebel off the face of the earth. You could have brought a great revival and vindicated me before the people. But you have not. Frankly, Lord, I’m here because I just don’t understand it. Why does faithfulness go unrewarded whilst apostasy, idolatry and sin prosper? Ahab and Jezebel feast in their palace whilst I, your faithful servant, flee for my life alone in the desert. I think I deserve better.”

A grudge against life is a grudge against God. Surely when a Christian complains at the way “life” has treated him is that not really complaining at the way GOD has?

Before God, a grudge instead of gratitude is a sure formula for depression.

j) SELF-PITY – “I am the only one left.”
Poor me, poor me. This was a terrible exaggeration you know. What about those prophets of the Lord that Obadiah had saved, fifty in one cave, and fifty in another? God is going to have to straighten him out on that.
He is not the only one left. But what if he was? Is that not God’s business? Wallowing in self-pity is very depressing and when we do it we usually distort the facts.

k) DESPAIR
It is as if Elijah has concluded that the situation is hopeless. He has done his best and it has not worked. Now he will surely be caught and die a violent death, maybe after being tortured first. Or he will be a fugitive for his few remaining years. Little wonder he wants God to take him home to Heaven. What else is there to live for?

Despair is, perhaps, the ultimate depression. No hope. No way out. We shall return to this later but let me say right now:

No Christian should ever despair.  With God there is always hope. ALWAYS!  

Now in all this I am not condemning Elijah. God forbid. I have been there. I am not condemning him, or judging him. I am trying with you in this first message to analyze and diagnose the contributory causes so that when depression comes to us or to another we might be able to, having diagnosed the disease, look better for the cure.

I, myself, am inclined to think that Elijah’s depression had not one cause only but was a mixture of most of the factors we have listed thus far. Some were natural. Perhaps some were sinful.

However I believe one was righteous, which leads me to this:

l) GODLINESS – a sincere and holy desire to see the Lord’s Name exalted and false religion banished. He had, therefore, a corre­sponding disappointment at the present state of things. For all I know even his sense of failure may have sprung, at least in part, from an honorable expectation that the living God would use this prophet, whom he had called into service, to a ministry of blessing. Any minister – any church – has a right to hope for that. Our God is the God of Revivals.

CONCLUSION

Friends, let us then be slow to judge when we are confront­ed with someone who is depressed, or to judge ourselves when we are depressed. And let us certainly never think there are always easy and glib answers. There is nothing more depressing when you are down than when somebody comes with some glib answer or cliché. Even verses of Scripture can be quoted in an insensitive manner.

Nevertheless, if we understand a little better how desponden­cy can overtake us perhaps we can the better make sure it will never overwhelm us.

As I have indicated, we shall explore much more fully in the next two articles God’s wonderful kindness in response to Elijah’s condition. What does God do? Does he punish him? Does he fire him? Does he ignore him? Does he take his life – since that is what he wanted? No. He does none of those things.

This is what God does to help him: first God sends an angel to meet his immedi­ate physical needs.

Then second, God calls him to a fresh encounter with himself. You see, Elijah had perhaps become too preoccupied with Elijah and everything was distorted.My brothers and sisters, when you or I become preoccupied with ourselves, we forget God and our perspective goes haywire.

And so, third, Elijah had to come to Horeb, the Mount of God, to have a fresh encounter with his God – and a renewed call.

I think that is maybe where he was headed. He was running away, yes, but he was running to.  Do not run away. Run to. Run to God. You will never fly into outstretched arms as loving, as forgiving, as understanding and as kind.

It may be that there is someone reading this article, and you too “have had enough.”  You do not know how you can go on. It may be disappoint­ment. It may be fear. It may be failure – or a sense of it. It may be weariness of life. Or maybe you have a grudge; a grudge from years ago, still like a cancer in your soul. It may be guilt: paralyzing, torturing guilt.  Whatever it is: run to God, and meet with him again. Seek him with all your heart, because he is the only one who can help.

God loved Elijah. He had plans for him. He loves you and has plans for you. I will guarantee it.

He is waiting for you.